Yesterday afternoon my groceries were delivered by a very nice man. Well he was nice to my dog and my dog liked him so I had an immediate favourable impression of him. When he offered to help me take all the bags inside he grew even further in my estimation.
"Yes, please that'd be lovely," I said and we chatted in a friendly way about bouncy dogs and how they don't really 'get' that not everyone likes to be licked.
I was walking the driver back to the door, thanking him for all his help when my husband came in from the garden to help me put all the food away.
"Thanks for all your help," I was saying. "Enjoy the Bank Holiday." And then, remembering that this particular company advertised that they still delivered on bank holidays I added, "I hope you have it off!"
The man looked a bit funny and said quietly, "Er ...thanks." I closed the front door and as I turned, my husband looked at me and said, "Did you really just say that?"
"What?"
"I hope you have it off."
"No!" I immediately said. "There's a bank holiday on Monday and I said ... Oh my god ... I did say it!"
So there you have it. The spirit of Carry On survives as the inadvertent double entendre sends yet another British delivery man running for the hills from a middle aged woman inexplicably wearing her night clothes in the afternoon.
Oh dear...
On a completely unrelated note - it's my half birthday today. Happy Half Birthday to meeee!
Yeah — numerous half birthdays in and I still don't get that licking thing either.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, enjoy having it off tomorrow. The wank holiday, I mean. BANK holiday. BANK.
As I wrote about it I realised SO many things were wrong with that conversation. I just don't think before I speak.
ReplyDeleteStill it's not all bad - I've just realised I have four members. That's cause for celebration right?
What?
Doh!
That's hysterical! I laughed so loudly I had to read this out to my daughter-in-law so she could hear what was so funny.
ReplyDeleteI still blush when I think about it. I'm just glad he was gone before I realised what I'd said!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing even though, being American, I don't QUITE get it...but...being the American I am (me), I figured out it was nasty, and thus, I liked it!
ReplyDeleteRobin - "to have it off" is a colourful little phrase meaning to have sex. Another similar phrase is "have your end away" though thankfully that isn't as easy to confuse with a perfectly innocent statement like mine!
ReplyDeleteI'll remember these - maybe I'll try one on John. Ha! Freak that boy out with my newfound (phrase) knowledge.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I would LOVE to see John's face when you say "Fancy 'avin' it off Babe?" Please take a picture!
ReplyDeleteLove coming in on your new blog when it's a sex joke. Perfect! So good to see everyone again, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah it's lovely to reconnect this way again. I see that you have a new post up. I'll be over in a jiffy!!
ReplyDelete